1.4 Resources

Thoughts on an Examination of Conscience

It would be a mistake to suppose that by attending to your moral failings, you are being “negative” in your pursuit of holiness.   On the contrary, in God’s providence, He allows us to fail in those areas in which He  especially wants us to grow in virtue. 

Faith  

1. Do I make an honest effort to grow in the virtue of faith by daily mental prayer on the  mysteries of the faith as revealed in the life of Jesus Christ?   
2. Do I make at least a short act of faith every day?   
3. Do I pray daily for an increase of faith?  
4. Do I ever rely on my own strength to cope with the trials in my life, rather than turning to God?   
5. Do I unnecessarily read or listen to those who oppose or belittle what I know are  truths of my faith?  
6. What have I done today to externally profess my faith?   
7. Have I allowed human respect to keep me from giving expression to my faith?   
8. Do I make a serious effort to resolve difficulties that may arise about my faith?   
9. Do I ever defend my faith, prudently and charitably, when someone says something  contrary to what I know is to be believed?   
10. Have I helped someone overcome a difficulty against the faith?   

Hope  

1. Do I immediately say a short prayer when I find myself getting discouraged?  
2. Do I daily say a short act of hope?   
3. Do I dwell on my worries instead of dismissing them from my mind?   
4. Do I fail in the virtue of hope by my attachment to the things of this world?   

1. Do I try to see God’s providence in everything that “happens” in my life?   
2. Do I try to see everything from the viewpoint of eternity?   
3. Am I confident that, with God’s grace, I will be saved?   
4. Do I allow myself to worry about my past life and thus weaken my hope in God’s  mercy?   
5. Do I try to combine every fully deliberate action with at least a momentary prayer for  divine help?   
6. How often today have I complained, even internally?   

Charity  

1. Have I told God today that I love Him?   
2. Do I tell Jesus that I love Him with my whole heart?   
3. Do I take the occasion to tell God that I love Him whenever I experience something I  naturally dislike?  
4. Have I capitalised on the difficulties today to tell God that I love Him just because He  sent me the trial or misunderstanding? 
5. Do I see God’s love for me in allowing me to prove my love for Him in the crosses He  sent me today?   
6. Have I seen God’s grace to prove my love for Him in every person whom I met  today?   
7. Have I failed in charity by speaking unkindly about others?  
8. Have I dwelt on what I considered someone’s unkindness toward me today?   
9. Is there someone that I consciously avoid because I dislike the person?   
10. Did I try to carry on a conversation today with someone who is difficult to talk to?   
11. Have I been stubborn in asserting my own will?   
12. How thoughtful have I been today in doing some small favour for someone?   
13. Have I allowed my mood to prevent me from being thoughtful of others today?   

1. Am I given to dwelling on other people’s weaknesses or faults?   
2. Have I been cheerful today in my dealings with others?   
3. Do I control my uncharitable thoughts as soon as they arise in my mind?   
4. Did I pray for others today?   
5. Have I written any letters today?   
6. Have I controlled my emotions when someone irritated me?   
7. Have I performed an act of kindness today for someone? 

 By Fr. John Hardon SJ

The Daily Examination of Conscience

Part of the rich tradition of the Church is recognising the need to reflect on the day’s activities – to remember God’s invitation and our response or lack of response. Saint Ignatius of Loyola developed a simple method by which you can review each day in a way that will help you grow in self-understanding and free you to follow God’s will. This practice is often called the Daily Examen. Many people choose to practice this prayerful review of their day before going to bed at night by following the five steps below.

Stillness: Recalling God’s Presence

Relax in God’s presence in your favourite prayer place and posture. Be aware of how God shows His love for you in all His gifts to you. Be thankful as you think of God the Father’s love, the love of His Son Jesus, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Ask the Holy Spirit to come into your heart and to help you to look honestly at your actions this day and how you have responded in different situations. With the Spirit’s inspiration you can recognise what draws you close to God as well as what pulls you away from God.

Gratitude: Expressing Thankfulness

Review your day and give thanks to God for His gifts. Try not to choose what to be thankful for but rather to see what springs to mind as you reflect. Think of the concrete details of your day—the aroma of coffee brewing, a smile from a co-worker, or a beautiful rainbow. Recall the gifts that God has given you that you can share with others – your ability to help in a crisis, your sense of humour, or your patience with children. Pause and express your gratitude to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Reflection: Looking Back on Your Day

Again review the events of the day and notice how you acted in the many situations in which you found yourself. Recall your feelings and motives to see whether you considered all of the possibilities and freely followed God’s will. Ask yourself when you were conscious of God’s presence. Think about opportunities you had to grow in faith, hope, and charity. When we think about why we did or did not take advantage of these opportunities, we can become aware of how we might change our actions in the future. Be grateful for the occasions when you freely chose a course to help others. Perhaps you let a shopper with a small order go ahead of you in line or let a car into your lane, or you did not join in a conversation critical of a co-worker. These are examples of responding freely as God wants us to. When we reflect on the times we did or didn’t act with God’s grace, we can be more sensitive to developing habits of positive responses.

Sorrow: Asking for Forgiveness

After you have asked for the Holy Spirit’s guidance in recalling and reflecting on the actions of your day, spend time talking with God or Jesus. Express sorrow for the times you failed to follow His direction and ask Him to be with you the next time you encounter a similar situation. Give thanks to God for the grace that enabled you to follow His will freely. Feel the sorrow and gratitude in your heart as you converse with God.

Hopefulness: Resolving to Grow

Ask God to help you as you look forward to a new day tomorrow. Resolve to cooperate and trust in the loving guidance of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Conclude the day’s prayerful review with the Lord’s Prayer.

By prayerfully reviewing your day, you will experience the difference it can make in the way you live. If you make a habit of practicing the Daily Examen, you will grow closer to God in your thoughts and deeds and will be free to choose to follow Him.

From Loyola Press

LIST OF CHARACTER TRAITS

The following list of character traits and working definitions was developed by the Character Training Institute.

• Alertness – Being aware of what is taking place around me so I can have the right responses.
• Attentiveness – Showing the worth of a person or task by giving my undivided concentration.
• Benevolence – Giving to others basic needs without having as my motive personal reward.
• Boldness – Confidence that what I have to say or do is true, right, and just.
• Cautiousness – Knowing how important right timing is in accomplishing right actions.
• Compassion – Investing what is necessary to contribute in the healing of the hurts of others.
• Contentment – Realising that true happiness does not depend on material conditions.
• Creativity – Approaching a need, a task, or an idea from a new perspective.
• Decisiveness – The ability to recognise key factors and finalise difficult decisions.
• Deference – Limiting my freedom so I do not offend the understandings of those around me.
• Dependability – Fulfilling what I consented to do, even if it means unexpected sacrifice.
• Diligence – Investing my time and energy to complete each task assigned to me.
• Discernment – Understanding the deeper reasons why things happen.
• Discretion – Recognising and avoiding words, actions, and attitudes that could bring undesirable consequences.
• Endurance – The inward strength to withstand stress and do my best.
• Enthusiasm – Expressing joy in each task as I give it my best effort.
• Faith – Confidence that actions rooted in good character will yield the best outcome, even when I cannot see how.
• Flexibility – Willingness to change plans or ideas according to the direction of my authorities.
• Forgiveness – Clearing the record of those who have wronged me and not holding a grudge.
• Generosity – Carefully managing my resources so I can freely give to those in need.
• Gentleness – Showing consideration and personal concern for others.
• Gratefulness – Letting others know by my words and actions how they have benefited my life.
• Honour – Respecting those in leadership because of the higher authorities they represent.
• Hospitality – Cheerfully sharing food, shelter, or conversation to benefit others.
• Humility – Acknowledging that achievement results from the investment of others in my life.
• Initiative – Recognising and doing what needs to be done before I am asked to do it.
• Joyfulness – Maintaining a good attitude, even when faced with unpleasant conditions.
• Justice – Taking personal responsibility to uphold what is pure, right, and true.
• Loyalty – Using difficult times to demonstrate my commitment to those I serve.
• Meekness – Yielding my personal expectations, from a desire to serve.
• Obedience – Quickly and cheerfully carrying out the direction of those who are responsible for me.
• Orderliness – Arranging myself and my surroundings to achieve greater efficiency.
• Patience – Accepting a difficult situation without giving a deadline to remove it.
• Persuasiveness – Guiding vital truths, lovingly, around another’s mental roadblocks.
• Punctuality – Showing esteem for others by doing the right thing at the right time.
• Resourcefulness – Finding practical uses for that which others would overlook or discard.
• Responsibility – Being 100% responsible for all my thoughts, actions, words and omissions.
• Security – Structuring my life around that which cannot be destroyed or taken away.
• Self-Control – Rejecting wrong desires and doing what is right.
• Sensitivity – Perceiving the true attitudes and emotions of those around me.
• Sincerity – Eagerness to do what is right with transparent motives.
• Thoroughness – Knowing what factors will diminish the effectiveness of my work or words if neglected.
• Thriftiness – Allowing myself and others to spend only what is necessary.
• Tolerance – Realising that everyone is at varying levels of character development.
• Truthfulness – Earning future trust by accurately reporting past facts.
• Virtue – The moral excellence evident in my life as I consistently do what is right.
• Wisdom – Seeing and responding to life situations from a perspective that transcends my current circumstances.

Integrity  

Seth Meyers Psy.D.

There are countless examples of integrity in everyday life—and yet we seldom see some of the examples highlighted below acted out in our daily lives:

1. Parents apologising to their children for over-punishing or yelling at them.  Like animals, small children make easy targets. They’re physically vulnerable by size and stature, and they’re emotionally vulnerable because they don’t yet have the cognitive capacity to understand the complexities of life. When parents feel overwhelmed, it often follows that they snap at their children or issue a too-harsh punishment. As a parent myself, I known how hard it can be, but at the same time, I also know that delivering an apology to your child when you’ve gone too far is something he or she deserves—and that it’s an absolute sign of integrity. Parents should set aside their pride and learn to apologize more frequently.
2. Bosses highlighting their staffs’ accomplishments and downplaying their own.   As a practicing psychologist, I hear some pretty extreme stories in my office. Based on these tales, the percentage of managers or bosses who are narcissistic, sadistic, or even sociopathic appears to be off the charts. Wherever you have power, you’ll find someone nearby who’s gunning for it. Yet the boss with integrity is a boss not because she or he wants to have power over others, but because of being a natural leader who is good at keeping things organized and who handles challenging situations with dexterity. Simply put, bosses with integrity have no need for power because they know they’re good at what they do, and they also have insight into the fact that they get better financial compensation than other workers. The good boss makes a constant effort to appreciate a staff’s contribution and to give them credit for a job well done. Sadly, you rarely see this kind of healthy, appropriate behavior in the workplace. We desperately need more integrity from bosses far and wide.
3. Romantic partners who boycott name-calling or other vicious behaviours.   Let’s admit it: There are infinite ways you can treat a romantic partner badly. Every day, in couples old and new, wealthy and poor, men and women get nasty with each other. At the most distorted end of the spectrum are the physical and sexual abusers; at the other end are the name-callers and angry, passive-aggressive types. (Infidelity is a complex issue appropriate for separate analysis.) No psychological study will ever reveal the percentage of relationships that include nasty, below-the-belt behavior. Yet there are couples out there who fight but not never unfairly, who argue but stop short of calling each other names. Those couples, which may have problems with each other but still manage to show a level of humanity and kindness, are composed of romantic partners who show integrity in everyday life. May we all watch and learn from them.
4. Drivers who (almost) never use the horn or drive aggressively.   We all have to share the roads, no matter how annoying that reality might be. How you drive says a lot about you—how you treat people you don’t know; how you handle anger; and the extent to which you suffer from entitlement. Perhaps you’d like to believe that someone who drives slowly or non-aggressively is simply less busy than you, but driving in a cooperative manner that is mindful of your fellow commuters is actually a sign of integrity. Let’s all try to practice it more when we’re behind the wheel.
5. People in positions of power apologising for keeping their captive audience waiting.   When someone feels important because they have more power than the majority of people around them, they often take themselves pretty seriously—and don’t think about the feelings of others. I’m talking about company higher-ups who don’t make a conscious effort to apologize to job interviewees for long waits—either on the day of an interview, or during the long lapses between interviewing and hearing back about whether a candidate got the job. I could just as easily be referring to physicians who keep a waiting room full of people waiting well past their agreed-upon appointment times. Every day people in positions of power, savoring their power, don’t acknowledge how they infringe upon the time and demands of those who depend on them. When was the last time that a physician came into the examination room and acknowledged how long you’d been made to wait? I’ve never heard a doctor say, “I’m sorry for keeping you waiting,” or, “Thanks for waiting; I’m sure you’re probably busy.” In situations where there is a major power imbalance, make no mistake: The one with power who apologizes to the one with less power is showing bona fide integrity. 
6. Anyone giving another person the benefit of the doubt when the circumstances are unclear.

Modern life is more taxing and fast-paced than ever, and we suffer from stress on an ongoing basis. When we’re stressed, we’re more likely to get defensive and blame others. But if each of us could learn to give people the benefit of the doubt across the board—whether it’s in an argument, about a job not completed, or in response to feedback that suggests that someone’s spoken badly about you—we would have less stress in our daily lives. One of the noblest behaviors you can engage in is to give someone the benefit of the doubt before rushing to judgment or negatively filling in the blanks yourself.

7. Volunteers.   As a society, many of us don’t volunteer enough. Yet a handful of men and women make volunteering a built-in part of their weekly life, whether at a church, food pantry, animal shelter, or other non-profit operation. It shows a certain level of integrity to volunteer for a one-day stint here or there, but the steadier integrity is shown by those who commit to ongoing volunteer positions that require a real sacrifice of time. Cheers to all the parents who coach their children’s sports teams, but even louder applause to those volunteers who provide a service to their larger community or to underprivileged strangers.

The good news about integrity is that we’re not born with it—or without it—which means that it’s a behavior-based virtue we can cultivate over time. We can set a goal to show more integrity in everyday life and we can reach that goal by practicing the behaviors above, as well as countless others which too often go unnoticed.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201504/7-signs-people-integrity

Values

Your values represent what is important to you …

• They influence your behaviours, your choices and your emotions.  
• They influence your habits, your lifestyle and your social experiences. 
• They are your motivators and give you purpose for getting up in the morning. 

Often we don’t have a clear understanding of what our values are.  Therefore, what you may find yourself saying is what you think  your values are, or what you want your values to be.  However,  are the values you want to have really your values?  Look at the list of values below and tick those that you feel apply to you without giving it too much thought  Then rank them in order of important to see which are the top five values of most importance to you.  You may need to go over the list a few times before this becomes clear.